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Do you just wish someone would tell you the rules, the secrets, the holy grail ways so that you could write your best novel?
Are you convinced someone, somewhere knows these rules and you just have to find them?
You are not alone. Writers and wannabe writers all over the world have been feeling the same way for years and years, probably since novels made their debut on the writing stage.
Someone very near and dear to me has created the puzzle below, with its well-known phrase for writers:
Puzzle by Ron Cougler http://puzlr.webnode.com
Now, Ron gives us this caveat that he knows he has misquoted Maugham in order to fit the quote into the puzzle template. Who among my readers can tell which word is not correct in the quote above, and give the correct word?
Enough games. You are all waiting for the three rules, are you not?
The Three Rules for Writing a Novel
1. Ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res.
2. Ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res.
3. Ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res ipsum lorem loquitur res.
(Fill in the blanks. Who am I to answer what Maugham did not?)
I hope you have enjoyed this tongue-in-cheek, foot-in-mouth spoof today. Consider leaving a comment about anything at all, well, not anything–I do have some standards!–or about the title subject. At the very least tell us something about the writing process which just makes you laugh.
Ron Cougler is a Technical Writer for a major Canadian technology firm, in charge of all documentation. Before his current career, he spent 30 years as a high school teacher and Business Studies department head. While teaching all learning levels and grades, he wrote and had published two Accounting textbooks through John Wiley & Sons and Nelson Canada. In his spare time Ron now operates a publishing company called CLASSROOM PUZZLERS and a sister company called PUZLR.
His puzzles have been published in Reader’s Digest’s Our Canada and More of Our Canada magazines. They have also appeared in the magazine Renaissance, a publication of the Retired Teachers of Ontario (RTO) organization.
His new PUZLR website is now live and can be seen at http://puzlr.webnode.com
Sharon Clare
January 23, 2013 at 11:33 am
Thanks for the comic relief, Elaine! Just the clarity I needed
Going to write that novel right now.
elainecougler
January 23, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Honestly, sometimes the how-to books make about this much sense to my muddled mind. Then I just take a break and come back with fresh eyes. Hope that novel is just about done!
Sherry Isaac
January 23, 2013 at 12:02 pm
There are no rules. Only genius. Or so says today’s post.
elainecougler
January 23, 2013 at 3:19 pm
I hope that’s not true as my genius meter is stuck on ‘too low to be measured.’
Urve Tamberg
January 23, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Tee hee. And they keep changing the rules!
elainecougler
January 23, 2013 at 3:20 pm
Thanks for visiting, Urve! How goes your next book?
Dale Long
January 23, 2013 at 4:27 pm
Hahaha! Love it!
The rules to writing is that there are no rules. The only rules, aside from proper grammar, sentence structure and spelling, are ones implied by people who want to feel smarter that everyone else.
elainecougler
January 24, 2013 at 10:24 am
Oho, a jab from Dale! Glad you got a chuckle out of my post. Have you noticed that there are as many rules as writers out there?
Dale Long
January 24, 2013 at 10:54 am
Seems that way, doesn’t it?
Jessica Aspen
January 24, 2013 at 7:47 am
I cheated, good thing I read upside down or I would have been here a long time. What a great way to introduce your new book! I’m diving in!
elainecougler
January 24, 2013 at 10:28 am
I’ll tell Ron he should have left the answers off. Then you’d have to do the puzzle. He says you’re a very bad person and you’re not to do that ever again! Ha Ha! You have got me thinking about novel ways to introduce my book when it comes out. Thanks for that, Jessica.
successbmine
January 24, 2013 at 5:28 pm
Good one, Elaine. I think the main rule for writing, outside of the obvious that Dale already mentioned, is to not follow the rules. Every time I discover something I shouldn’t be doing, I try to correct it only to find the same thing in about every book I read. One of the latest is No Exclamation Marks! Well, I know they shouldn’t be used in excess or they fail to communicate anything, but there are some things that just cannot be conveyed adequately without one. Get rid of “ing” and “ly” words. OK. Sometimes that is not possible, either. And they, too, can be used excessively. But they are numerous in many books books published by the “big” publishers. I have found that if you follow too many rules your writing becomes stilted. And after all, who wants to read a stilted novel?
elainecougler
January 30, 2013 at 12:43 pm
I found the same thing about quotation marks, Diane! There are just times you need them. Thanks for your considered comment.
Brinda Berry (@Brinda_Berry)
January 25, 2013 at 8:36 am
I knew all those rules already!
My rules:
Be willing to learn from others on what works for a great story.
Write something you would love to read.
Practice doesn’t make perfect. It will never be perfect. But, it can always be better.
elainecougler
January 30, 2013 at 12:44 pm
Oh, those are good, Brinda, and tell me a lot about you as a writer and as a person. Especially like number 3.