Last week was the local festival of music here and I took time from my writing to chauffeur a couple of my nephews to various classes. My husband, who loves to write funny stuff and also loves to tease, wrote the following list of rules for my 14-year-old nephew to follow. You need to know that Noah works on his uncle’s farm helping out with the show horses, he has size 13 shoes, and is way over 6′ tall. He’s also a great kid.
IMPORTANT RULES FOR PASSENGERS WHO ARE RIDING FREE IN MY NEW CHEVROLET MALIBU
1. NO spitting out the window at other teenagers.
2. Your shoes should NOT have horse manure on them.
3. Eat your breakfast, lunch and/or dinner BEFORE you get into the car.
4. NO beer drinking, wine sipping or Slurpee slurping.
5. Do NOT annoy the driver; she has a very low attention span and needs to focus on her driving.
6. Do NOT ask to drive the car even if you are licensed.
7. On a rainy day please cover your shoes with milk bags to keep the carpets clean.
8. It is not necessary to tip the driver for free rides; she is well watered, fed, and sheltered at home.
9. Do not touch any part of the car with wet, perspiry, sticky, gooey, slimey, creepy hands. Just sit there!
10. Do NOT ask for more than one free ride a year.
11. If you are over 4’ tall expect to hit your head getting in and out of the car.
12. It would be nice for you to offer to clean, wax and vacuum the new car in lieu of a taxi fare.
Today’s post is about using language just for a good chuckle. Did you enjoy it? Leave a comment about a time you wrote just for the fun of it.